I've spent today looking at photos from the last three years. I'm ill, I suck at being ill. I always feel the need to be productive (which is a problem sometimes). I tried to read a book but after two pages I realised that there's just too many words in my mind in order to focus on the words I'm reading.

So much yet so little can change in time.

A lot of this started with me competing with my past. Competing with things that I had no control over. However, four years later, I can finally say that I'm at peace. At peace with things I've gone through, at peace with whatever the future will bring me. Because I know what moves me, what matters to me. I know what the things are that lift me up and bring me back down, to lift me up even higher the next time. Of course, there's always new things on the horizon to be discovered, challenged, questioned and dealt with. Even when it means not dealing with it is actually dealing with it.

I've graduated, I've gotten my first job in the games industry, I'm going to move abroad to Sweden after having done an internship for a year there, I'm going to move in together with my partner. Not only is each one of these steps a big step, it's a combination of big steps combined into one humongous step. I'm terrified! (The happy-excited kind of terrified, but still.)

I'm afraid of what could happen but I'm much more afraid of never even trying.

Anyhow, that was todays' portion of babbling.

Liefs, x.