At the end of last week, I had a horrible stomach flu; which meant I spent around 3 days being alone in my room.
Being alone is both a curse and a blessing for me. I get way too caught up in my head after spending too much time alone. Negativity takes over, thoughts take over, and before you know it I've spent hours in bed doing absolutely nothing; turning into a negative thought loop of "oh god I suck" + "I've done nothing to improve" = "boohoo!".
I'm so grateful that going to therapy last year has taught me how to deal with this stuff. I've learned to realise that thoughts are just thoughts. I know that those thoughts are not me. Those thoughts are remnants of a past me. The scary thing is that these thoughts can inflict your future you to a great extent.
Then suddenly, after sending out a dozen internship applications - I received my first reply! My initial reaction was "ALREADY?" followed by "HOW DOES BREATHING WORK AGAIN?" followed by strolling up and down the hallway for 30 minutes because I was so filled with excitement. Things are getting real! The e-mail was positive, I was given an assignment which I have a week for (I have 2 days left). Things are going very well so far and I've received only positive feedback on what I've been working on. Good times all round! (Also, no pressure at all. Ha.)
Tomorrow is the deadline for our school project, Friday is the deadline for my personal objectives this block and next Monday is my panel exam. Next Wednesday is Industry Day at University where I hopefully get to talk to a few people from companies (including the one I'm currently doing the assignment for). There are a lot of exciting and amazing things coming up that I'm looking very much forward to. The lazy part of me has to admit that she cannot wait to binge watch Firefly next weekend and go to Scotland for 8 days the following weekend.
Closing off with a little mantra that I can definitely relate to:
(Thanks Marina & The Diamonds)
Have a great week, everyone!
Liefs,
X
Being alone is both a curse and a blessing for me. I get way too caught up in my head after spending too much time alone. Negativity takes over, thoughts take over, and before you know it I've spent hours in bed doing absolutely nothing; turning into a negative thought loop of "oh god I suck" + "I've done nothing to improve" = "boohoo!".
I'm so grateful that going to therapy last year has taught me how to deal with this stuff. I've learned to realise that thoughts are just thoughts. I know that those thoughts are not me. Those thoughts are remnants of a past me. The scary thing is that these thoughts can inflict your future you to a great extent.
Then suddenly, after sending out a dozen internship applications - I received my first reply! My initial reaction was "ALREADY?" followed by "HOW DOES BREATHING WORK AGAIN?" followed by strolling up and down the hallway for 30 minutes because I was so filled with excitement. Things are getting real! The e-mail was positive, I was given an assignment which I have a week for (I have 2 days left). Things are going very well so far and I've received only positive feedback on what I've been working on. Good times all round! (Also, no pressure at all. Ha.)
Tomorrow is the deadline for our school project, Friday is the deadline for my personal objectives this block and next Monday is my panel exam. Next Wednesday is Industry Day at University where I hopefully get to talk to a few people from companies (including the one I'm currently doing the assignment for). There are a lot of exciting and amazing things coming up that I'm looking very much forward to. The lazy part of me has to admit that she cannot wait to binge watch Firefly next weekend and go to Scotland for 8 days the following weekend.
Closing off with a little mantra that I can definitely relate to:
"Good things come to those who wait
But I ain’t in a patient phase"(Thanks Marina & The Diamonds)
Have a great week, everyone!
Liefs,
X
A Dutch page which I've been following for a few years posted this today: the "fuck-it-list". It's basically the exact opposite of a bucket list; write down things you don't EVER want to do again!
I've been hit with an annoying stomach bug the last few days, causing me to start thinking negatively again and getting stuck in thought loops. Thankfully a long walk outside, some thinking, writing, and being surrounded with great people helped me get back on track again.
So, the "fuck-it-list". I'm going to make it an actual physical list and I'll keep updating it, but for the heck of it I'll post my top 5 here.
1. Giving up on my ideals or dreams because of someone else's opinion.
Nope! Never doing that again. My intuition has proven this many times by now. Keep doing what I'm doing. If it makes me happy, it makes me happy. If I'm not harming anyone with it, keep going.
2. Getting upset or angry over the past.
The past is exactly that; it has passed. The only thing I'm doing by getting upset about it is wasting valuable energy which I could be using on the present and the future.
3. Measuring my success with others.
Another nope! We are all on our own paths, we are all working towards something WE want for ourselves. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever to lay your path next to someone else's path and count the differences.
4. Judging before knowing.
I'm not proud of it, but I've done the hate-spree thing. "Oh, this person is just AWFUL. LOOK at them!". I am honestly NOT proud of it, and I promise myself that I will never do this again.
5. Staying in an unhappy situation for the sake of others.
It's good to care about others, and it's good to make others feel happy. It's NOT good to do this at the cost of your own happiness or sanity. If you can't take care of yourself, you'll never be able to take care of someone else.
First 5. Done.
Liefs,
X
I've been hit with an annoying stomach bug the last few days, causing me to start thinking negatively again and getting stuck in thought loops. Thankfully a long walk outside, some thinking, writing, and being surrounded with great people helped me get back on track again.
So, the "fuck-it-list". I'm going to make it an actual physical list and I'll keep updating it, but for the heck of it I'll post my top 5 here.
1. Giving up on my ideals or dreams because of someone else's opinion.
Nope! Never doing that again. My intuition has proven this many times by now. Keep doing what I'm doing. If it makes me happy, it makes me happy. If I'm not harming anyone with it, keep going.
2. Getting upset or angry over the past.
The past is exactly that; it has passed. The only thing I'm doing by getting upset about it is wasting valuable energy which I could be using on the present and the future.
3. Measuring my success with others.
Another nope! We are all on our own paths, we are all working towards something WE want for ourselves. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever to lay your path next to someone else's path and count the differences.
4. Judging before knowing.
I'm not proud of it, but I've done the hate-spree thing. "Oh, this person is just AWFUL. LOOK at them!". I am honestly NOT proud of it, and I promise myself that I will never do this again.
5. Staying in an unhappy situation for the sake of others.
It's good to care about others, and it's good to make others feel happy. It's NOT good to do this at the cost of your own happiness or sanity. If you can't take care of yourself, you'll never be able to take care of someone else.
First 5. Done.
Liefs,
X
We've all been there: exhausted, braindead, unmotivated, restless. So what do we do? We start scrolling. Scrolling mindlessly through our news feed, scrolling through our YouTube subscriptions, scrolling through our Twitter feed. And over time, we become numb. We become numb and fail to realise that while we're doing this, not only does life move on, we're also wasting valuable energy!
Over the course of the last few weeks I've been (lightly) giving myself a smack on the head when I find myself doing the mindless scrolls of endless activity. Instead, I grab my tablet, or a piece of paper, and I draw! I found the 21 Day Art Challenge via a UI artist I got in touch with last month, and it's been very fruitful so far. Not only am I getting better at it, it's helping me in pursuing my goal to become a UI Designer / Artist, and it helps me be more open and less afraid of receiving feedback since I'm forcing myself to share the studies I've been doing.
Of course there are still days where I find myself feeling completely empty and void of any inspiration. Nothing appears. Nothing at all. It becomes very tempting to grab that little device and start scrolling again, but instead - I'll grab a record, or go for a walk. It's all about forcing yourself to let go of the stupid little habits that creep up on you and make you unhappy over time, even it if feels weird to do so at first.
So, here's some progress of day 1 to day 12. I can say I'm definitely happy in what's happened in spending only 30 minutes to half an hour every day doing this, and looking forward to the results of keeping this up even after 21 days! :)
Over the course of the last few weeks I've been (lightly) giving myself a smack on the head when I find myself doing the mindless scrolls of endless activity. Instead, I grab my tablet, or a piece of paper, and I draw! I found the 21 Day Art Challenge via a UI artist I got in touch with last month, and it's been very fruitful so far. Not only am I getting better at it, it's helping me in pursuing my goal to become a UI Designer / Artist, and it helps me be more open and less afraid of receiving feedback since I'm forcing myself to share the studies I've been doing.
Of course there are still days where I find myself feeling completely empty and void of any inspiration. Nothing appears. Nothing at all. It becomes very tempting to grab that little device and start scrolling again, but instead - I'll grab a record, or go for a walk. It's all about forcing yourself to let go of the stupid little habits that creep up on you and make you unhappy over time, even it if feels weird to do so at first.
So, here's some progress of day 1 to day 12. I can say I'm definitely happy in what's happened in spending only 30 minutes to half an hour every day doing this, and looking forward to the results of keeping this up even after 21 days! :)
Happiness is a choice.
Happiness is hard work.
Happiness is being disciplined, in everything you do.
Happiness is knowing where your priorities are.
Happiness is maintenance.
Happiness is finding joy in everything you do.
Happiness is turning the most dire situation into the best you can make of it.
Happiness is knowing your needs and wants.
Happiness is giving it your all.
Happiness is knowing when to let go.
Happiness is being okay with the choices you make.
Happiness is loving and forgiving yourself, no matter what.
Happiness is knowing that everything will be over someday, good or bad.
Happiness is being.
Happiness is hard work.
Happiness is being disciplined, in everything you do.
Happiness is knowing where your priorities are.
Happiness is maintenance.
Happiness is finding joy in everything you do.
Happiness is turning the most dire situation into the best you can make of it.
Happiness is knowing your needs and wants.
Happiness is giving it your all.
Happiness is knowing when to let go.
Happiness is being okay with the choices you make.
Happiness is loving and forgiving yourself, no matter what.
Happiness is knowing that everything will be over someday, good or bad.
Happiness is being.
